Dear reader,
If, between these pages and links, you have found any content worthy of your time, be sure to know they are either direct or indirect products of luck, known by some, me included, as God, but I won’t go there here. Very little that is impressive about me can be said to be truly accredited to me, their lucky carrier. Some qualifications ought to be made for, and I daresay owed to, whoever might be (with my greatest sympathies and apologies) reading this (god help them find things that are more worthy of their time, heaven knows there are plenty). I make no promises of the truth of anything on this page. The only promise I make is this: that they were all written in a haze of genuinity. They all are from the heart, whatever value that might carry if any at all. I meant and believed them at the time they were written. However, that isn’t to say I still believe them. In fact, more likely than not, you can bank on, when in doubt, that I no longer do, either entirely or partially, either differing in intensity or only with some further qualifications. Thus, you should not, whoever you are, take this, or anything else on this page, to be true, to be something you ought to believe at all, or even try to understand. It likely is not, it likely does not. I only hope that it serves some limited purpose of amusement because this I believe: There are far too many things we could devote our selves to, finding one is no hard task. Thus, one should only devote time to what is amusing to oneself. Life is too short to be spent on things that bore us and amuse the other. All things amusing are deserving of our time. When one is amused by something, that thing is immediately meaningful to one. Great things are discovered and realised through amusement, things that one would never have found otherwise and things that were perhaps never in the amusing things to begin with but wholly inside of the amused. It is through being amused that they can realise something, true to them, that they always knew but was hidden from them. Thus, I hope to amuse you.
about ad hocery
These are of course arbitrary and adhoc categorisation as any attempt to categorise thought would inevitably be. But they are the best I can do. Without categorisation, even if adhoc and arbitrary, one can easily get lost in one’s thoughts as philosophers too often do (and perhaps inevitably must). For the sake of the (occasional reader, whose interest is quite possibly underserved and may very well be disappointed by what they see) that they won’t have to waste time finding their way through the maze that so often traps me, I will do my best to draw arbitrary (but hopefully conducive) categories.
words.
dear stranger,
In the spring of 2022, just when the world was blooming back to life, I became depressed for the first time in my life. I found myself without a drive to do anything at all. I suspended my studies in something I loved with almost all my being. My depression was mostly characterised by numbness—the absence of joy and almost any feeling at all. Being someone who always struggled with feeling too much all the time ever since I could remember, I stopped feeling like myself. This is what really scared me, more than the absence of joy and occasional weeping.
So to feel like myself again, to feel alive again, I started writing letters to and for strangers. I don’t know why I thought it would help, but it did. I would leave letters in random places for people to find (and hopefully read). After some debate, I decided to record those letters to share with the world.
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